“Something has changed within me, Something is not the same”
August 18, 2019
Thank you CRT.
As we close Little Shop, I can’t help but think about how fast summer has flown by. In these last few performances of Little Shop I have definitely been living in the moment. While doing the show tonight, it seemed as though everything was happening in slow motion and I just got to watch. In these super surreal moments I feel so blessed to have been able to live out a dream this summer. I’ve learned so much and I’ve been so moved by everyone in the CRT company and even by the beauty of Creede. Working among professionals, in a professional setting has been such an adjustment after years of only doing educational and community theatre. It’s been a good kind of adjustment, and now I feel more confident in myself knowing that if I work hard, I will thrive. I feel comfortable now, leaving my safe space and what I know, to trust in something new.
I’ve done more babysitting of puppies and tiny humans than I ever could have imagined to do in an acting and performance internship, but I have enjoyed spending time with them more than anything. The fact that CRT members trusted me with their most prized possessions (their babies and dogs) has been such an honor. The time that I spent in the company of CRT people has been nothing less than amazing and remarkable. Everyone’s lives are so different but so similar and it’s been so awesome seeing everyone in different departments, doing so many different projects, but working together on the same show. Seeing all of the different parts of all of our shows come together, and seeing the end results have been incredible.
I’ve learned a lot about what it takes to run a theatre and boy, it can be so stressful but so rewarding. I know CRT is going to continue to thrive being that they’ve made huge changes and adjustments to make sure there is an abundance of comfort and inclusion for every person who steps into the theater. I’ve seen so much work and progress due to EDI work in CRT which has trickled down outside of CRT and into the community of Creede, it’s been a beautiful thing to witness in just one summer of work.
My biggest take away from this experience so far is that no matter what profession you go into, you’re going to have to work your buns off, and you have to find strength within yourself, more than once, in order to keep pushing yourself to be better than you were yesterday, because in the end you will be rewarded, with more opportunity, friends, and a newfound love and respect for yourself. Also another thing that I’ve taken away from this experience has been my definition of success. My greatest fear has always been failure, and letting my family and people who support me, and root for me down, so my definition of success has always been whatever keeps them believing in me or “proud of me”, and just whatever other’s want for me. Most of my life has been me living my life for other people and their expectations of me, scared to disappoint them. CRT has taught me that this is no way to live. That you only live once so you must live for you, and only you. In just this small piece of advice, my life has already begun to turn for the better. I feel way more confident in my decisions. I already feel happier and like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
“Something has changed within me, something is not the same. I’m through with playing by the rules of someone else’s game”(Wicked).
Thank you CRT. You will never be forgotten.
Your friend, Keke
Kayla is a theatre and chemistry major with a minor in creative writing from Kankakee, Illinois.